I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize