Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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