after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize