my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
