is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
