I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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