I wanna bring you to show and tell
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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