i'm signing you up for texting rehab
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
