I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
