Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
