Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
