I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
