your parents love me but you hate me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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