Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
