"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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