All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
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Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
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Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
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