i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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