i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
