dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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