I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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