our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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