Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
