FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize