I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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