So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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