I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
