Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize