No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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