Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
