I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
