Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I got inside last night via doggy door
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