He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
