I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
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I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
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it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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