no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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