Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
