Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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