Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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