I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize