can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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