we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
