Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.

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  (917): I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home. http://tfl.nu/cetg
  Replies (3) Good night (1242) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.

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  (256): I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting. http://tfl.nu/bt6j
  Replies (21) Good night (3915) Bad night (621)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough

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  (781): i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough http://tfl.nu/ltrw
  Replies (15) Good night (3561) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.

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  (401): You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you. http://tfl.nu/6q4j
  Replies (14) Good night (9124) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...

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  (631): life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs... http://tfl.nu/upvm
  Replies (11) Good night (585) Bad night (5529) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.

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  (201): It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name. http://tfl.nu/d1cf
  Replies (12) Good night (1150) Bad night (4406) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up

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  (586): you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up http://tfl.nu/umx5
  Replies (15) Good night (800) Bad night (4253) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating

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  (509): the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating http://tfl.nu/mu9q
  Replies (17) Good night (4389) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?

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  (843): I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome? http://tfl.nu/1lt0
  Replies (23) Good night (1317) Bad night (6807) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious

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  (203): She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious http://tfl.nu/rvtf
  Replies (35) Good night (4657) Bad night (2345)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.

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  (757): It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower. http://tfl.nu/w3u9
  Replies (11) Good night (2848) Bad night (758)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?

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  (330): Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her? http://tfl.nu/1j07
  Replies (12) Good night (4184) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife

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  (802): he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife http://tfl.nu/h9mg
  Replies (9) Good night (2251) Bad night (1478) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!

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  (610): Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?! http://tfl.nu/1su6
  Replies (9) Good night (2687) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You burned the hair off your arms. Again.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It grows back stronger each time.

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  (203): You burned the hair off your arms. Again. (860): It grows back stronger each time. http://tfl.nu/ybhf
  Replies (1) Good night (668) Bad night (326)

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