I cockslap morals
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.