and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking