My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.