I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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