Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
