Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
