oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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