oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
