we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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