I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
