R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
