We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
