The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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