the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize