Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this boner is exhausting
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
